The session with Alison was just a lovely all round experience from start to finish and more gently held and yet more profound that I ever expected.
I was introduced to various colours and was invited to feel into my response to them. It was surprising what came up - was it possible for me to be going through a kaleidoscope of feelings just in response to different colours? Apparently, yes!
What became clear is that my palette is autumn, but what struck me most is how much I have avoided these colours in my life. Black has been my staple colour for everything, from clothes to bags, to purses, to walking boots, to journals, to phone cases, everything!
Not just because 'it hides my shape' but because I could hide behind it. In black I felt stronger, less vulnerable; like there was a veneer of protection around me. what I realised in the Feeling Colours session is that black was also my way of keeping people distant, keeping them from seeing all of me and even sometimes pushing them away. I realised this need to hide is a deeply ingrained pattern from childhood when I felt unsafe at home. And that this pattern has played out into my adulthood; shying away from visibility, allowing fear to get in my way of really connecting with people, with allowing the love in and preventing me fulfilling my potential.
So what's changed? Well in the two months since consciously changing my wardrobe and by stepping into my true colours, I've also consciously stepped into more openness, I've taken some risks with my tantra training group, in relationships, in my business, I've started some new training that I have been putting off for 3 years and I've had some good endings. And I've allowed myself to be more vulnerable, to be seen and this has shifted some key relationships in my life. And I've stepped wholeheartedly into a loving relationship with a man who I had been pushing away and keeping at a distance.
I have worn a black outfit only once since the Feeling Colours session, yes it felt safe and that's what I needed on that particular night out. But feeling into and having the courage to step into my colours now means that rather than this protective layer, or what I am wearing, I am being seen, loved and valued for who I am.
I am finding my new colours absolutely liberating. Thank you Alison, this is truly life changing work.
[session in December 2019]